Thursday, March 31, 2011

How to be a Good Doctor - http://forum.facultyofmedicine.info/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=183&sid=c908a76897f0422749d113586b015890

Being a doctor is a very challenging yet fulfilling career choice. But successfully completing the eight to eleven years or more of school and advanced training does not necessarily ensure success as a practicing physician. Although every patient has his own idea about what makes a doctor "good," the additional qualities listed here are generally agreed upon as being essential to becoming a successful doctor.

Practice Good People Skills
 
Aside from having technical knowledge, a good doctor must be a "people person," since the job entails a lot of interaction with patients, families, and other professionals in the field. Doctors must effectively communicate with patients, especially when patients are baffled by the complexity of their conditions. Doctors must also deliver bad to news to patients and their families. This is perhaps one of the hardest tasks that a doctor must learn to do, but learning to do so with compassion is critical to a doctor's success.

Develop Time Management Skills
 
Doctors often work in high-stress, fast-paced environments, and must know and follow their schedules to keep p with everything that is taking place around them. Good time management skills should be honed while still a student in med school. Students who make time tables and those who regularly update their planners to make sure they don't miss anything are candidates to become great doctors. Doctors who give themselves deadlines are always motivated to think faster and to find solutions right away.

Pay Attention to Detail
 
Good doctors have keen observation skills. Just like the idealized doctors you watch on TV, real doctors must possess a passion for practicing medicine. This passion leads to discoveries and solutions when it comes to diagnosis and treatment of diseases. A successful doctor always pays attention to details. This skill saves lives and allows the doctor to do his or her job more effectively.

Continue Learning
 
Doctors are lifetime students who must study incessantly---starting in school and extending throughout their careers. Successful doctors keep abreast of new information and breakthroughs in their field of medicine. Scientists are constantly investigating new topics, new cures, new treatments, and new techniques, and doctors must stay up to date.

Source : eHow

Alam dan Syukur oleh Zulhafidz - iluvislam





Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang beriman dengan ayat-ayat Kami, adalah orang-orang yang apabila diperingatkan dengan ayat-ayat (Kami), mereka menyungkur sujud dan bertasbih serta memuji Tuhannya, sedang mereka tidak menyombongkan diri. (As-Sajdah 32:15)

Syukur Nikmat Allah

Dari Abu Hurairah r.a katanya, Nabi saw bersabda yang maksudnya : "Lihatlah kepada orang yang lebih rendah daripadamu dan jangan melihat kepada orang yang lebih tinggi. Itulah tembok yang kukuh supaya kamu tidak menghina pemberian Allah kepadamu". (Bukhari)

Selaku insan mukmin, kita tidak harus menyalahkan apa sahaja pemberian Allah SWT apalagi menghinanya kerana jika dihitung-hitung nikmat Allah, nescaya kita tidak akan sanggup menghitungnya lagi disebabkan terlampau banyak nikmat tersebut termasuklah pemberian yang tidak kita sedari. Oleh itu jangan kita merasa kesal atau kecewa dengan ciptaan atau pemberian Allah sama ada kita mengalami kecacatan, kekurangan dan sebagainya.

Hal ini kerana jika kita mengeluh terhadap-Nya, padahal kita sedang menikmati rahmat-Nya, itu bermakna kita tamak dan menutup mata atas nikmat yang telah kita miliki selama ini dan hal demikian akan menjerumuskan kita ke lembah kekufuran serta mengundang kemurkaan Allah sehingga tiba suatu masa kelak, Allah SWT akan menarik semula segala nikmat pemberian-Nya itu dan menggantikannya dengan kesusahan. Ketika itulah kita akan menyesal dan celik akan hakikat sebenarnya.

Sesungguhnya sebahagian besar musibah yang menimpa manusia adalah disebabkan oleh keluhan-keluhan mereka terhadap-Nya sedangkan Allah itu Maha Pengasih, Maha Adil dan lemah-lembut terhadap hamba-hamba-Nya. Oleh itu dalam apa juga perkara kita hendaklah bersifat qana'ah dan sentiasa bersyukur di samping berusaha dan bersabar kerana Allah berfirman yang maksudnya: "Boleh jadi kamu benci pada sesuatu padahal ia baik bagi kamu, dan boleh jadi kamu suka kepada sesuatu padahal ia buruk bagi kamu. 

Dan (ingatlah), Allah jualah Yang Mengetahui (semuanya itu) sedang kamu tidak mengetahui". (Surah al-Baqarah : Ayat 216)

أَلَمْ تَرَ أَنَّ اللَّهَ يُسَبِّحُ لَهُ مَن فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَالطَّيْرُ صَافَّاتٍ كُلٌّ قَدْ عَلِمَ صَلَاتَهُ وَتَسْبِيحَهُ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِمَا يَفْعَلُونَ

"Tidakkah kamu tahu bahwasanya Allah: kepada-Nya bertasbih apa yang di langit dan di bumi dan (juga) burung dengan mengembangkan sayapnya. Masing-masing telah mengetahui (cara) sembahyang dan tasbihnya, dan Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yang mereka kerjakan."(An-Nur 24:  Ayat ke 41) 



Teach Your Child How to Control Anger - http://www.teachkidshow.com/teach-your-child-self-control/


Anger is a natural human emotion. Usually stemming from fear, anger is meant to inform us that something is wrong or that we are being threatened in some way.
Children are not always able to express themselves calmly and in words. Frustration with people, things or situations occurs frequently, especially before children have the vocabulary to talk things out.

There are ways to teach your child how to control their anger and express thoughts and feelings in a more effective way. The methods you choose will depend on their age and developmental readiness.

One of the best ways to teach your child how to handle anger is by modeling control yourself. Parents are not immune to anger! Our thoughtful and reasonable responses to troubling situations and events will help them know it is possible to do the same.

Preschool

Young babies are not able to meet their own needs. Crying is normal for a baby as it signals a need has arisen. Responding to your baby’s cries before they become out of control will show them someone is attending to their needs. Frustrated babies tend to become frustrated children and adults. You cannot spoil a baby! So attend to their needs calmly and promptly.

Preschoolers are notorious for frustration and anger. They also have a limited capacity to express and obtain what they need. Helping them to stop, take a deep breath and “find their wordsEmay prevent a further loss of control. Using cue words each time such as “Stop. Now breathe. That’s it. Now find your words.EThis simple sequence if consistently used may help them in the present, but also give them the skill and discipline they will need later in life.

If your child becomes enraged, give them time to cool down before attempting to discuss it.

A full-blown tantrum is another story. Most tantrums are a deliberate attempt to control parents or gain attention. Minor tantrums can be ignored, proving their ineffectiveness. Major tantrums need to be dealt with differently. If your young child persists in extreme tantrums find a counselor or physician to help you know what to do to help your child. In the meantime, stay calm.

Be sure to listen to your child. Make opportunities to spend time one-on-one. Take them to the park for a walk. Spend time in nature. Provide a quiet area for play and vary the materials they have to play with. Arts and crafts can help youngsters express themselves better than words.

If your child can verbalize their feelings, respond with empathy. You may not be able to “fixEthe problem, but your child has been heard.
Trust that learning to control anger is a process and that life will provide the needed practice.

Main points to address:
  • Learn to discern your baby’s cries and respond to them promptly.
  • Listen to your toddler.
  • Use distraction, time in nature, music and art as techniques to diminish a tendency toward anger.
  • Live in joy yourself, exercising self-control and empathy.
  • Get help from a counselor or doctor if anger is a persistent problem.
Grades K-3rd

Children of this age show their anger primarily by crying. Anything that seems confusing, overwhelming or unfair may ignite their outrage. Occasionally a child may even strike out in anger. Finding ways to prevent escalation is important. Teaching children to find words to express their feelings by using similar cues to those given above may give them time to gather themselves.

Never minimize a child’s fear or anger. Using too upbeat of an approach will show them you don’t see their predicament and probably won’t be able to help them. Part of a child’s training is looking to caring adults to show them a way to express and solve their problems. Denying the bigness of your child’s feeling will cause him to go “undergroundEwith them and express feelings in other, less constructive ways.
Showing your children alternate responses to trying situations can be done by role-playing. Switching roles can be fun and help them consider new ways of dealing with their perceived or real problems.

Meditation or prayer may be one way your family keeps things in perspective. Children can learn to use this quiet time to get back to center.

School will likely provide lots of material for frustration, hurt and anger. Develop a working relationship with your son or daughter’s teacher so that you can find ways to help your child. If anger seems to occur more often or more intensely than seems normal for his age, find a counselor to help you and your child.

Proper rest and nutrition, recreation, out of doors activity and family time can boost a child’s inner reserve of love and self-worth. Express your love often with hugs and words. Let them know how important they are to you. Sometimes all a child has between themselves and the world is you.

Main points to address:
  • Help your child find words to express their anger. Give them time to calm down, then listen.
  • Try not to minimize concerns. Do not use logical reasoning when your child is enraged.
  • Resist the temptation to solve problems for your child. They need to learn to do this on their own. If need be, step in as an advocate.
  • Rest, nutrition, recreation, fresh air and time spent with you can help your child function at their best.
Grades 4-6th

Older children still get angry, but most have found ways to process their feelings in a constructive way. Responding in violent or extreme ways is rare and signals a need for help.

Letting kids know that you experience anger too can help them know they are okay if they have anger. Now and then you may want to casually relay a trying incident and how you responded earlier that day.

Playing “What IfEby asking family members what they would do if someone crowded in line at the super market, or took a basketball from your hands or called your dog ugly. This can be a fun way to rehearse appropriate and reasonable responses to life’s disappointments and surprises.

Your child may profit by journaling or keeping a feelings book. Sometimes writing the words down or drawing a picture can help clarify and sort out issues. You may want to keep one too!

Letting kids know they cannot control or be responsible for someone else’s behavior can limit “righteous indignationEexperienced at this age. Knowing that the only person they can control is themselves will empower them to exercise their own self-control.

Main points to address:
  • Listen to your child.
  • Practice alternate responses to trying situations and people.
  • Provide a notebook or journal for recording and processing feelings.
  • Continue to model self-control. Let them know they are responsible for their own attitudes and behaviors, but not those of others.
  • Get help if you need to.
Resources
Resources that can help you in your venture include:

Prolotherapy- Rawatan Unik yang Berkesan untuk Sakit Sendi Akut atau Kronik oleh Dr. Zulkafperi - http://www.iluvislam.com/berita/advertorial/2003-prolotherapy-rawatan-unik-yang-berkesan-untuk-sakit-sendi-akut-atau-kronik.html





Sakit lutut atau lebih dikenali ramai sebagai sakit 'Arthritis' adalah suatu penyakit yang boleh menyerang sesiapa sahaja baik anak sekolah, orang muda, dewasa ataupun orang-orang tua.

Antara sendi-sendi yang kerap terlibat adalah lutut, bahu, siku ,pinggang dan tumit kaki serta pergelangan tanggan.

Berbagai faktor terutamanya sebarang trauma atau stress boleh memberi kecederaan kepada tisu-tisu di sekeliling sendi terutamanya adalah tisu 'ligament' dan tisu 'tendon'. Hanya trauma yang terlalu kuat sahaja boleh memberikan kecederaan kepada tulang-tulang disendi.

Urutan atau pun menyapu minyak panas adalah amalan biasanya dilakukan apabila kita mendapat sakit sendi. Setelah tiada perubahan dengan berurut maka kebanyakan kita akan pergi keklinik untuk mendapatkan rawatan.

Kebiasaanya diklinik doktor akan memeriksa tempat yang sakit dan mungkin mengambil gambar X-Ray. Sekiranya tiada tulang retak atau patah, doktor hanya akan memberikan 'ubat penahan sakit' seperti voltaren atau Celebrex untuk beberapa hari.

Andainya kesakitan maseh berterusan maka anda mungkin dirujuk ke doktor 'orthopaedic'. Pemeriksaan 'MRI' atau 'Cat Scan' akan diambil untuk melihat adakah tulang yang retak atau tisu-tisu yang koyak.


Andainya tiada sebarang kelainan dikesan makan doktor orthopaedic akan menambah preskripsi ubat penahan sakit atau pun memberikan steroid. Kadang-kadang cadangan untuk suntikan 'Hyalarunic acid Gel' dan seterusnya 'arthroscopy' ataupun pembedahan.

Dalam kebanyakan sakit sendi , tiada kecederaan atau kelainan kepada tulang-tulang disendi sebab yang menyebabkan kesakitan itu adalah berpunca dari kecederaan ataupun kerosakan yang terjadi kepada tisu-tisu ligament ataupun tendon jadi doktor hanya mampu memberikan ubat –ubat penahan sakit sahaja.
Ubat penahan sakit ini adalah bertindak sebagai 'anti-inflammatory' iaitu memperlahankan atau memberhentikan proses pembaik pulih. Jadi ligament-ligament yang rosak atau cedera itu tidak dibaik pulih sepenuhnya dan akan menjadi separa pulih dalam keadaan kendur.

Kekenduran ligament yang mengikat sendi inilah menyebabkan sendi tidak diikat denga kuat dan sentiasa bergoyang dan akhirnya setelah beberapa tahun terjadilah keadaan yang dipanggil 'osteoarthritis'.

Hanya rawatan Prolotherapy sahaja yang mampu merawat semula ligament yang telah kendur untuk menjadi regang semula bagi mengikat sendi-sendi dengan kuat.
Rawatan Prolotherapy adalah “medical procedure” yang mengunakan kaedah suntikan setempat di sendi-sendi yang sakit dengan “ubat prolotherapy” untuk membaik pulih ligament atau tendon yang kendur. Kekenduran ligament inilah yang menyebabkan sendi-sendi tidak diikat dengan kuat dan memyebabkan kesakitan yang kronik.

Ianya juga amat berkesan untuk merawat kecederaan sukan (Sport Injuries) yang akut ataupun kronik serta untuk merawat kecederaan akibat dari pekerjaan (Occupational Injuries).

Rawatan ini amat berbeza sekali dengan rawatan biasa yang hanya mampu memberikan ubat penahan sakit (NSAID) ataupun suntikan steroid, arthroscopy dan surgeri. 

Rawatan ini adalah alternative kepada surgeri dan mampu memberikan kesan baik pulih yang kekal , malah sendi akan menjadi 40% lebih kuat dan stabil.
Prolotherapy adalah sebahagian dari ilmu kepakaran Perubatan Orthopaedic tetapi di Malaysia tidak ramai para-para doktor yang mengetahui tentang Prolotherapy. Di Amerika Syarikat rawatan Prolotherapy amat popular dan ramai doktor yang mempraktikkannya.

Apakah Rawatan Prolotherapy

Prolotherapy adala hasil kombinasi dari perkataan ' prolo ' dan ' therapy '. Prolo adalah sengkatan dari perkatan 'proliferation ' dan prolotherapy membawa maksud rawatan yang merangsang proses proliferasi/pertumbuhan sel-sel inflamasi untuk membaik pulih dan memperkuat tisu sendi terlibat.

Sebenarnya ”Proses inflamasi” adalah kaedah semula jadi untuk membaik pulih sebarang kerosakan yang terdapat didalam badan manusia.

Konsep rawatan prolotherapay adalah dengan merangsang proses inflamasi setempat melalui teknik suntikan di kawasan sendi yang mengalami kesakitan yang biasanya disebabkan oleh ligament yang lemah, kendur atau tercedera.

Suntikan yang bolih diberikan adalah 'proliferants', ' irritants', 'chemotactics', 'particulates' atau pun 'growth factor'.

Jumlah suntikan bolih berbeza dari satu suntikan untuk sekali rawatan atau beberapa suntikan yang bergantung kepada tahap dan keperluan penyakit seseorang.

Ligament

Ligament adalah bahan yang mengikat atau menghubungkan tulang-tulang kita. Kestabilan dan kekuatan sendi-sendi kita tergantung kepada ligament-ligament ini.
Ligament yang tercedera atau kendur tidak dapat mengikat sendi dengan kuat dan menyebabkan sendi tidak stabil dan menghasilkan kesakitan bila sendi digerakan.

Ligament berwarna putih dan agak liat, ia tidak elastik serta ia tidak mempunyai bekalan darah yang terus dan ligament hanya mendapat bekalan darah, makanan, oksigen dan lain-lain keperluan melalui proses 'sequestration'(perahan) hasil dari pergerakan sendi.

Kebanyakan sendi-sendi yang sakit adalah disebabkan oleh masalah kekenduran ligament.

Apabila berlaku kecederaan kepada ligament, ia sukar untuk pulih 100% kerana biasanya doktor akan merehatkan sendi terlibat dan pastinya memberikan ubat penahan sakit(NSAID) atau 'steroid'.

Ini akan menyebabkan proses baik pulih terencat dan ligament akan berlaku kekenduran.

Ligament yang kendur ini akan menyebabkan sendi tidak stabil dan pesakit mengalami kesakitan yang berlarutan dan akhirnya menyebabkan 'secondary osteoarthritis'.

Rawatan Prolotherapy ini mampu merangsang semula proses inflamasi di ligament yang kendur dan dalam masa 6 minggu ligament tersebut akan menjadi 40% lebih tebal dan rengang semula untuk mengikat tulang-tulang dengan lebih kuat. Kesakitan yang kronik itu akan terus hilang.

Tendon

Tendon adalah bahan yang menghubungkan otot-otot dengan tulang di sekitar sendi.

Kecederaan atau kekenduran kepada tendon menyebabkan kekejangan dan kesakitan ditendon dan otot berkenaan serta kesakitan bertambah dengan pergerakan sendi yang terlibat.

'JOINT INSTABILITY' yang berpunca dari kekenduran Ligament akibat dari kecederaan sukan , kecederaan pekerjaan atau akibat dari 'simple sprain and strain' adalah penyebab utama kepada sakit sendi kronik dan akhirnya melarat kepada 'Osteoarthritis'.

'PROLOTHERAPY' adalah satu-satu nya cara membaik pulih sendi-sendi anda yang sakit samada yang akut atau yang kronik tanpa memakan sebarang ubat penahan sakit atau steroid.

Prolotherapy adalah pilihan alternative terbaik kepada suntikan steroid, suntikan Gel di sendi ataupun pembedahan lutut.

Persoalan nya sekarang bolehkah rawatan Prolotherapy membantu anda, ibubapa ataupun kawan- kawan anda? Mari kita lihat antara senarai –senarai penyakit yang didapati amat berkesan dengan Rawatan Prolotherapy :
  • Sakit Belakang /Low Backache
  • Sakit pingang
  • PID
  • Herniated Dics
  • Degenerated Discs Disease
  • Slipped Discs
  • SCIATICA
  • Spondylolisthesis
  • Sacroiliac Laxity
  • Neck Pain
  • Whiplash Injury
  • TMJ Syndrome
  • Cluster Headache/ Migrane
  • Sakit Bahu/Shoulder pain
  • Frozen shoulder
  • Sakit siku/Tenis elbow/Golfer's elbow
  • Sakit pergelangan tangan/wrist pain
  • Capal Tunnels Syndrome
  • Sakit sendi-sendi jari tangan
  • Sakit sendi peha/ Hip pain
  • Sakit lutut/knee pain
  • Medial/Lateral/Anterior & Posterior Cruciate
  • ligament tear
  • Meniscus tear
  • Sakit buku lali/Ankle pain
  • Sakit di kaki dan jari-jari kaki
  • Sakit di Tumit/ Heel pain/Heel spurs
  • Sakit di tapak kaki/ Plantar fasciatis
Arthiritis

Nota Makluman Pengguna: Prolotherapy tidak boleh diguna untuk merawat 'Gouty Arthritis' dan 'Rheumatoid Arthritis'
Untuk maklumat lanjut berkenaan Prolotherapy, sila layari www.proloclinics.com. Anda juga boleh menghubungi 03-77271360 atau 0176567677 atau 0136702722. Anda juga boleh email melalui kepada azura0106@yahoo.com.

Teach Your Child Self-Control by Teach Kids How





Teaching your child self-control will help them get along with others, make good choices and stay safe. Teaching self-control starts early and truly never stops.

The thoughtful parent knows that each child is an individual with a will of its own. Respect for a child’s will and need for autonomy must be balanced with respect for the needs of others and the limitations placed on us to ensure safety and survival.
Teaching your child self-control involves helping them to:
  • Think before acting
  • Control impulses
  • Weigh consequences
  • Make safe and acceptable choices
Knowing what to expect from your child at each stage of growth – what is normal and what is not, will provide guideposts as your child grows. Lessons in self-control need to be age-appropriate. Parents also need to agree on clear limits and boundaries as well as reasonable consequences for lack of impulse control at each stage of development.

It is important to be a model of self-control for your child. Controlling the urge to yell when in a frustrating situation will show your child it can be done. Considering consequences by thinking aloud will give your child a living example of thinking before acting. Your everyday display of kindness, patience and thoughtful regard will go farther than anything else!

Preschool

Babies and toddlers experience frustration often as they do not have the means to communicate or acquire what they need and want. Distracting the very young child with movement, soft music or introducing an interesting object can work sometimes. Initiating fun activities or changing the setting can also work.

As preschoolers get older, say age two and beyond, they may need a brief “time-outEto cool down. Placing them on a sturdy chair for a minute or two may stop out of control behavior. As soon as the child settles they should be allowed to move from the time-out area. This can be an effective way of teaching early self-control. However, a child should never be made to sit longer than a minute per year of age.

Mild tantrums can often be ignored. Praising your child for getting back under control will help them know you understand their frustration. Again, at this age, when babies and toddlers are learning so much by observing, your example can be the best teacher.

If you find you are not able to handle your young child’s frustration, it is important to get help from a counselor or physician. They will help you to cope and to find ways to deal with your own feelings of frustration.

Main points to address:
  • Children learn by watching you. Handle them calmly, modeling self-control.
  • Use soft music, movement or introduce a fun activity to distract a frustrated preschooler.
  • Use a brief “time-outEto help an older preschooler cool down. If you need a time-out, step back from the situation, think and get help if you need it.
  • Praise your child for exercising self-control in frustrating situations.

Grades K-3rd

As a child is ready to enter school they are beginning to understand the meaning of “consequencesEwhich heralds a new readiness for self-control. Understanding simple cause and effect can help a child of this age understand the results of their actions, leading them to make conscious choices. This is a good time to talk about good, better and bad choices.

Children are also ready and able to learn how to relax long enough to stop and think. Teaching them to stop and take a few deep breathes or to count to ten can give them the grace period necessary to make the better choice.

If a poor or impulsive choice has been made, asking “What would have been a better choice?Emay help the next time a similar situation occurs. You may also find it useful to practice in advance when you know your youngster is going to be facing a stressful situation. Role playing can be a fun way to do serious preventive teaching.
Children at this age also benefit from explicit instruction in manners. Asking your child to reflect on how they like to be treated is a powerful way to increase awareness of the rights of others.

Children who have more difficulty with self-control and impulsiveness may like using a behavior chart to track their progress. Whether the problem is interrupting others, lying, or failing to listen to directions a behavior chart with built in rewards for success can show your child you believe in their ability to develop self-control.

Main points to address:
  • Not all children have good self-control by the time they enter school.
  • Teaching your child to be reflective about their behavior can help develop self-awareness and responsibility for their choices.
  • Manners are important enough to be taught and practiced.
  • Using a behavior chart tailored to your child’s present development can encourage compliance and convey faith in their ability to use self-control.
Grades 4- 6th

Most older children are now able to understand the consequences of their actions. Helping your child figure out what went wrong and at what point can help them catch control problems before they occur.

Letting them know that everyone loses control sometimes allows them to view themselves and others with compassion. Frustrations and disappointments are universal experiences. Pointing out the times and ways your child is successful will encourage them as they grow older and face new challenges.

If your older child seems to be having a great deal of difficulty in school, on the playground or at home it would be wise to visit your doctor, school counselor or social worker. They can help you know what is normal and what if anything needs to be addressed with expert help. Certainly, anytime a child’s behavior is seriously threatening or hurtful to himself or others, you need to seek outside help.

As a child becomes more able to exercise self-control they will develop confidence in their ability to make good choices, an awareness of what is fair and right, and a working knowledge of how to use their personal power appropriately. Helping your child learn self-control is not an easy job, but may be the greatest gift you have to offer.

Main points to address:
  • Help your child come up with alternative courses of actions prior to stressful events.
  • Praise them for successfully dealing with a frustrating person or situation in a calm, sensible way.
  • Seek help if your child is not successfully controlling hurtful emotions or actions.
  • Remember that learning self-control is a life-long process!
Resources
Resources that can help you in your venture include:

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

14 Ways to Happiness

 


1) ACCEPT THE PAINS:

You must get in touch with your situation. Sometimes people deny their hardship, thinking that if they don't face them, they will be happier. But it's the other way around. Allow yourself to go through the pains. 

2) CHOOSE NOT TO STAY IN PAIN:

They say this is "self-empowerment". You can both be bitter about the pains and feel very powerless; or you can do something and feel powerful enough to handle them. It's a choice to live with or without pain. 

3) FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE:

But before forgiveness comes in, think about how other people hurt. Then realize that you can see yourself for what you actually are and not how they want you to be. So finding happiness is no longer rooted outside, but it's inside you - what you see, how you view things, what you want. Then it leads to your choice: to live your life with yourself.

4) TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE:

We sometimes allow ourselves to let other people, circumstances, or pains in the past to rule our lives. So we become very unhappy and very bitter because we live blaming others on who we are, where we're at, or how we should be. It's an exhausting process because you'll forever be blaming other people. Don't be bothered by what others think who you are or the standards they set. Take responsibility for your life.

5) LEARN TO LET GO AND TRUST YOURSELF:

To be happy means learning to let go of expectations from yourself or from other people. You can't always have your way. At work, you can't always be sure your strategies will work or your plans will happen. But before you let go, have a deeper trust in yourself.

6) LEARN TO RECEIVE BLESSINGS:

Think of the little things that make you happy or the people that give you assurance where you're good at. This is called receiving. Most of us have reasons to be happy, only that we don't see them or we take them for granted. We need to have little eyes and little hearts too, and realize that all things that make us happy have been there all along.

7) HAVE SOMEBODY TO TURN TO:

Even if you're in turmoil, there are people who will support you. But often we stick with people who make us very unhappy. If you're unhappy, seek people who will nurture you or look for a partner who will serve as a well-spring of inspiration.

8) BE HOPEFUL:

Hoping is better than being optimistic since its whole and real. Because sometimes, one's optimism can be a denial of hardship. It's easy to be optimistic about things, but inside you, you’re anxious about them. Hoping is deeper. It's something you look forward to even when you recognize the difficulties and pains. The more hopeful a person is, the more he recognizes how bad the situations is, and let’s himself bear it. In the end, he knows it will bear good results. You don't deny difficulties. You're touching ground instead.

9) KEEP THE FAITH ALIVE:

There'll be points in your life when you can't handle problems alone. Think about SOMEONE who's more powerful, and who loves you dearly to take care of you. Having faith in ALLAH will give you hope.

10) SHARE YOURSELF:

You can actually give intangible gifts even without your conscious effort. People will tell you later that you've helped them, and gradually, you will feel you're making a difference in their lives. That's a deeper gift. When you help others, they affirm you by saying, "You're good." Then you realize that you're a good person and your goodness is not merely based on meeting deadlines or getting a raise. It's more of proving your self-worth based on being loved for who you really are and not simply for the result you can deliver or the money you can contribute to the company. This strengthens your positive attitude towards difficulties in life.

11) BE GRATEFUL:

You have to develop in yourself the sense of gratitude. You should be thankful for what you have. But you should recognize that there are things you can do to improve your life.

12) IT'S ALL IN THE MIND:

We are unhappy because we think we are. Unhappy people are attached to their unhappiness. They refuse to change. When one thinks negatively, then he attracts negative thoughts. If you think that a tragedy will fall on you, somehow you fulfill it. Unconsciously, you make it happen.

13) MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING:

People accumulate more and more money but the amount of happiness they can "buy" gets smaller and smaller. Although more money may bring greater feeling of empowerment, studies show that personal relationships, spirituality and feelings about oneself most directly influence well-being.

14) DISCOVER THE BEST FRIEND IN YOU:

We can all change for the better. You can be happy even with yourself by discovering the best friend in you. Get real. Don't be hard on yourself with those high, unattainable goals. It's time you don't look for happiness outside you.

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Clinical psychologists believe that happiness is a product of realization. One must allow himself to go through a process to feel happiness.