I AM a working mother of a two-year-old daughter who has the habit of beating people.
She doesn’t talk well yet, and every time someone takes her toy, she will grab it from him immediately and if he refuses to return the toy, she will beat him.
People are labelling her as selfish and me, a bad mother.
I’ve tried talking and explaining to my daughter but she still behaves in this manner. – Worried mother of a toddler
Before three years old, children have very little notion of how to obey others and follow rules set by adults. They tend to follow, and react according to, their instincts.
Discipline is a gradual process. Young children need training in love, consistency and understanding of their natural impulses.
Before age three, a child cannot obey unless the order she receives corresponds with one of her vital urges. For example, she wants the person who took her toy to return it. If this is not done, she will feel upset and react with an aggression which she has seen others do.
The parent who understands her child will try to help her seek a compromise. Punishment is not appropriate here because the child is only following a strong natural urge. She learns nothing if she is punished.
As she grows older, your child may obey at times but not at other times. Parents may misconstrue this as outright defiance. Children at this stage are learning and developing skills.
They will make mistakes or regress; it will be a while before your child completely understands all that is required of her.
To effectively work with your child to develop self-control, you must be aware of your attitude, tone of voice and own behaviour. When you are trying to get her to react calmly towards someone who has offended her, you must show her how you handle it peacefully.
You could say: “I am angry when someone takes my toy away. I don’t like it at all. I can tell him about it but I will not hit him.”
You could look at the other person and say: “Please may I have my toy back? I am upset that you have taken it from me.” Be her spokesperson when she cannot speak for herself yet. She may learn more after hearing your responses repeatedly.
Children deserve our respect. If you want your child to show respect to others, you must first show her respect. You do not force her to obey you when she has made up her mind.
It is difficult for the child to pay attention to your guidance when she is in the middle of a crisis. Do work out a better time to teach her manners and appropriate conduct. Set aside time when you can act out roles that require the use of “please”, “thank you” and “May I?”
I’ve tried talking and explaining to my daughter but she still behaves in this manner. – Worried mother of a toddler
Before three years old, children have very little notion of how to obey others and follow rules set by adults. They tend to follow, and react according to, their instincts.
Discipline is a gradual process. Young children need training in love, consistency and understanding of their natural impulses.
Before age three, a child cannot obey unless the order she receives corresponds with one of her vital urges. For example, she wants the person who took her toy to return it. If this is not done, she will feel upset and react with an aggression which she has seen others do.
The parent who understands her child will try to help her seek a compromise. Punishment is not appropriate here because the child is only following a strong natural urge. She learns nothing if she is punished.
As she grows older, your child may obey at times but not at other times. Parents may misconstrue this as outright defiance. Children at this stage are learning and developing skills.
They will make mistakes or regress; it will be a while before your child completely understands all that is required of her.
To effectively work with your child to develop self-control, you must be aware of your attitude, tone of voice and own behaviour. When you are trying to get her to react calmly towards someone who has offended her, you must show her how you handle it peacefully.
You could say: “I am angry when someone takes my toy away. I don’t like it at all. I can tell him about it but I will not hit him.”
You could look at the other person and say: “Please may I have my toy back? I am upset that you have taken it from me.” Be her spokesperson when she cannot speak for herself yet. She may learn more after hearing your responses repeatedly.
Children deserve our respect. If you want your child to show respect to others, you must first show her respect. You do not force her to obey you when she has made up her mind.
It is difficult for the child to pay attention to your guidance when she is in the middle of a crisis. Do work out a better time to teach her manners and appropriate conduct. Set aside time when you can act out roles that require the use of “please”, “thank you” and “May I?”
No comments:
Post a Comment