Sunday, January 2, 2011

CHALLENGES DURING PRESCHOOL YEAR– by Ruth Liew


Children in the preschool years have a high capacity for learning.  You can practically teach them anything you want.  However, early learning has to be developmentally appropriate.  Every time you look at your child and respond to him, you must send a message that he matters most, not what he can do.

Preschool-age children need continuous nurturing for building relationships in their lives.  The first six years of a child’s life are crucial to his later development.  He needs guidance and constant reaffirmation to what he does and says, and the significant adults in his life are his parents. Teachers and caregivers are available to support the parents’ job to nurture and educate the child.

It is important that parents invest time and love in young preschool-age children.  In return, three will be a lifetime of rewards waiting for parents who put in the effort.  Parents must be on the right track with their preschool age children.

Parents need to understand how children develop and the effective ways to help them reach their full potential.  We need to support children in their development and not place obstacles in their learning paths.  We must allow children to be children.

The first step to support your child’s development is to observe him carefully and make a note of what he needs or does not need.  When the preschooler is learning something, he will make many mistakes.  He needs time and patience and not more scolding and nagging.

During the preschool years, the most important thing is preschoolers’ wish to learn – not how much they learn.  Ultimately, children tend to mimic the adults around them.  Hence, the best cues they can get will come from their parents who are always reading, trying out new things, pursuing some fascinating hobbies or life goals and dreams.

Lack of communication is one of the main causes of breakdowns in relationships.  So talk and listen to your children.  You may think that this is something that most parents do naturally.  Unfortunately, lack of communication has often severed many parent-child relationships.

Parents only talk to their children when they behave badly or when they refuse to do something.  Otherwise, they hardly say much to their young children.  They also hardly listen to their children because they do not regard what children say.

It is very useful that parents make a practice to listen to what preschool children have to say and then verbalize their own feelings and thoughts positively.  If children are having difficulty putting ideas and feelings into words, help them by giving the appropriate words to use.  Remember, while children might not know a lot, they are always ready to learn.

Children in their preschool years are naturally competitive.  They like to show off what they can do and what they can say. While they are going through this “peacock-strutting” stage, parents can share with them the joys of cooperation. While they are helpful, tell them how you can appreciate their help. Listen to their suggestion to help out. Preschool children like to know that they can contribute to the family. It is up to their parents to challenge their children but it is also helpful for the children to experience more positive interactions. They need to learn cooperation more than competition. When they lose in the game, acknowledge their disappointment over the loss. Do not brush their negative feeling aside and tell them to forget it. You can either show them ways to do better the next time or you can say to them, “I know you are disappointed that you did not win. This feeling is will be temporary as there are other chances for you to win.

Preschoolers thrive in a positive learning environment where adults give them the opportunities to be themselves. This is not the time to be competitive, but a time to learn, to share, and to give. The preschool years are not meant to prepare children for rat race. Learning to value cooperative efforts will raise the children’s social standing. They are better liked when they are kind, helpful and willing to share.

At this age, children need to hear praises on what they can do rather than criticism on what they cannot do. If you understand your child and know what they can do, you will be able to tell him what he is good at. Get involved by familiarizing yourself with what your child is learning in his preschool class.

While parents should cheer their children on and encourage them to do their best in everything, it does not do much good for them to constantly emphasis to their children the important of achieving success. Children are better off being taught how to deal with failure because any success must come many failures.

Children with low self-esteem, as characterized by Eeyore of Winnie The Pooh stories, feel that nobody really loves and cares for them. This is especially so when they are still struggling with new skills and abilities. Nevertheless, don’t be mistaken that you child your child has low self-esteem when he occasionally hangs his head and says to you, “Nobody loves me”.

Richard and Linda Eyre wrote in their book, Teaching Children Responsibility, that character building is the key to developing high self-esteem. Give children challenges the can cope with and the will feel a sense of self-worth and usefulness. Parents can be creative in suggesting the ways in which their children can help other people or bring cheer to the lives of the less fortunate.

Children who are responsible for themselves and to others have good character. They will rise above negative thoughts and feelings and positively handle all challenges that come their way later in life. Children need to have hands-on experiences and learning for them to know what is right and what is wrong.

They need their parents and teachers to give them good feedback on the things they are doing right. Being kind to others and learning to accept and respect differences in others are positive behavioral traits that we want to enhance in ourselves and in our children. The preschool years are the best times to kick-start the positive learning experiences for a healthy self-esteem.

RUTH LIEW is a US-trained Child Developmentalist and Early Childhood Educator Trainer and Examiner with over 20 years experience. She is a columnist/feature writer for The Star newspaper on parenting topics.



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